Self-Care = Being an Ally to Yourself
When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
― Audre Lorde
Today, February 18th, is what would have been Audre Lorde’s 87th birthday. For those unfamiliar, Lorde was a feminist and social activist and was a self-described "black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet." Lorde’s life is a reflection of a strong woman who used her strengths and voice to daringly be seen and heard in the world. In her book A Burst of Light, Lorde talked about self-care as a radical political act. As she said "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." Lorde's powerful idea became a watershed moment in a movement that quickly became about preserving yourself in a world that was hostile to your identity, race, gender, way of life, and your community.
In many ways, the world today is not so different than the world Lorde lived in. Moreover, Laurde’s participation in the history and the previous understanding of self-care is also not reflected in the current mainstream understanding of the term self-care. As the history of the self-care movement shows, the transformation in the understanding of self-care happened because the idea of self-care (as well as the mindfulness movement) became co-opted to represent lavish and unattainable ways of caring for oneself. Clearly, this is a far cry from the understanding of self-care as self-preservation.
During my grief training with the founders of Being Here, Human, Rachelle Bensoussan shared that instead of the term "self-care", she and her co-founder Michelle Williams like to use the phrase "being an ally to yourself". When I heard that phrase, I just thought it was so beautiful and knew it was something I would want to share with you all.
To be an ally is to be a helper and an advocate. As humans, I believe we are called to be an ally to ourselves and to our fellow brothers and sisters. What does this mean in terms of self-care? Well, as we make our way through this messy world, there are going to be times when we feel like we have taken a hit. In these moments, taking the time to acknowledge our needs and care for ourselves is deeply important. The more time we spend caring for our needs, the better we can show up in this world as people. Sometimes, when we think of self-care, our thoughts go to spending time with loved ones. There's certainly nothing wrong with this yet, in these strange days we are living in, being with loved ones is not always possible. So, as you spend time considering some ways to be an ally to yourself, I wanted to share some affordable self-care ideas below. As a bonus, all of these ideas are something you can easily access within 15 minutes to 24 hours.
Ideas on how to be an ally to yourself:
Hold one hand on your heart
Take a few deep breaths
Meditate
Spend time in nature
Take a walk or spend time moving your body
Take a bath with Epsom salt or a hot shower
Journal
Cook
Dance
Listen to music
Color in an adult coloring book
Watch a funny movie/clip/show
Light a scented candle
Make a cup of hot tea or hot chocolate
Sit under a weighted blanket
Stretch
Make a gratitude list
As we move forward in this next week, I’d love to hear how you plan on being an ally to yourself.
Until next time,
Nicole
